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My leaders told me to join Timothy Class to be a part of Joshua Generation last week and today i went to the class. Ever since I came back, most of things I’ve been doing are things I did before, like becoming a member of our church, joining the worship team, etc. As you may guess, It brings me many memories back, and also it gets me to look at myself in the past, look at what mistakes I made, and how i can improve this time.
when I was a leader last time, I struggled a lot , leading a small discussion, shepherding, and other things related to leadership. I even came up with a very ungodly idea so called “Self-shepherding” and freed my sheep.. what a shaky shepherd!. But after I got to know the fact that being a leader is not an option that u can choose, everyone in the house of God is called to be a leader, I learnt that the question i should ask is how i can be a good one, not can I be a leader or not.
After the class today, I prayed to God that this will be a step stone that leads me to come closer to God, to serve Him and His people wholeheartly. And I was more convicted to move forward for Him, no matter what happens. Thank God for His extraordinary plan for an ordinary guy like me. so no more self-shepherding for my sheep to be 
Tonight, many of us went to see the most beloved female singer after Christine Bee in our church, Brooke Fraser. wow she was great. Funny, great singing, great performance. Apprently quite a few ladies were inspired to learn guitar including Rachel. So she asked me to give her lessons, and she agreed with me charging her brother for that! and guess what.Brooke said Hi to me! People didn’t believe me but God knows.
On the way back home, realized that I didn’t call my sister to say happy b’day. so quickly called her just to say some words. she said she was having dinner and thank you to me. the end. she is cool.
A busy week ahead. Yes back to the real life. Hope you all will have a great week, life to the fullest.
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It is amazing to see how God brings different ones here , and we call ourselves a family. It is amazing to see how God has brought everyone this far. We might not know each other now, but we are in the same place, same time, and sharing the same memories. and we never know how and when we will get to know one another.
I never knew that Boy would be my shepherd. I still remember the first time when i saw Boy. he was giving a testimony on sunday, wearing brown shoes. I thought who that funny guy was.
Looking back at last 6 months in brisbane, ( already half year!) , i’m blessed and also amazed by seeing how i got to know new friends here. Also looking back at past 5 years, i’m so grateful to see where we were back then and where we are now.
So many things that i never thought of become true.
who knows I will be a rock star one day again! lol just kidding!
Boy was meditating the word of God. ( were you? )
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is that Boy is shepherding me.
for those who have been wondering and asking us “BTW, who is shepherding who??”
Sorry Boy! I’m such a bad sheep!!! 
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Mom called me a few days ago, couldn’t talk that much, so i called her back tonite. She was surprised,asking me if anything happened to me. In fact we merely call each other once a month.
Usual conversation going on.talking about how I have been, asking her how she is, a bit of scloding as usual. Even though I told her that I had been good, always worried about me, asking me if i eat properly, do tithe, go to church on time, fall asleep during service, and so on.. i guess to her, I’ll be always a little son who she needs to look after.
when i was much younger, she came to my bed early in the morning everyday, laid her hands on me, and prayed. Sometimes she woke me up, but i pretended to be asleep, wondering what she was praying for. I still don’t really know what her prayers for,but I believe that God has blessed me so much because of her prayers and there are more prayers to be answered.
words can’t describe how i feed inside when i think of what she has done for me-all those tears, prayers, and sacrifice -, the mixture of feelings.
But I don’t know why i feel a bit sad and sorry, everytime after I speak to her. maybe it is because her love for me is much greater than my love for her. I’m still way far from a good son, when i think of her great sacrifice. I pray that God will give her many many more days here so that I’ll have enough time to love her back.
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Last week, a friend of mine asked me “ so, do you regret?”
And I said “ Yes, I do. I regret that I made that decision”
on my way home, the question just got stuck in my mind.. do you regret?
If I had known the consequences, I wouldn’t have made many decisions I regret.
I said to my friend “I regret, but it already happened , nothing can be done now, anyway.”
But I didn’t say that sometimes consequences of regretful decisions seem so overwhelming for me to carry them all myself.
And I said to my friend “I try not to make the same mistake again”
On my way home, I asked myself again.How about now? Am I living a life that I will have no regrets? am I doing anything that I might regret later?”
p.s.
busyness, uncertainty, anxiety, lots of excuses, to-do lists everyday and so many ‘what if’ questions,
all that sort of things that could make me weary and sometimes make me lost.
Then I start looking around where I’m going, where I stand. By now, after having been through all that regretful decisions i made, I should know where I should go, where I should stand.
All my friends seem so busy too. Pray for you that you are living a day that you won’t regret. One of my regrets is that I hardly express how much I appreciate you all, so let me say that I love you all. Have a great week.
